NEW  ZEALAND
FOLK * SONG

We Don't Know Lucky We Are

                 John Clarke a.k.a. Fred Dagg, 1970
s, 1990s
Roger Lusby  2021                              


In the TV persona of Fred Dagg, the late John Clarke told us how the Real Kiwi Bloke viewed the 1970s - click here.
Then in the 1990s he sang it at the 'United Nations' - click here.

Now Roger Lusby shows us how a Real Kiwi Bloke deals with the 2020s.



Guitar: Key E hammer on pull off A- B7 on refrain

Once upon a time, in our mighty Southern Ocean
Long after the world's greatest fish was first landed
And become our country that rocks
to earthquakes and pestilence
A bloke made an announcement
through a budgie smuggler on the end of his nose that
Jacinda our Prime Minister who was shooing away
a bad germ at the time had a message for us
She said we had to go into lockdown
And she wanted her team of five million to pull together because,
As she said “in the inimitable words of the Late Great Mr Fred Dagg

“We don't know how lucky we are mate,
  We don't know how lucky we are!


 
Yes she said "I have a feeling
       We are living somewhere substantial.” and
“We don't know how lucky we are!"

I was talking to a mate of mine, just the other day,
I know him really well, you know, old um - What's His Name,
He was out the back with the shearers
       when I called to say gidday
I asked him how he was, and he said OK
       The wool doesn't make enough make it pay
And the Kiwifruit's got the PSA
The honey bees have got varroa mite
And the cows are full of mycoplasma
And the Greens they're full of shite
"But" he said, "Roger - things are comin' right.

We don't know how lucky we are mate,
 
We don't know how lucky we are!”

Yep we don't know how lucky we are in this fine country of ours
“We don't know how lucky we are!"

There's a guy I know who lives in town
I see him about once a year
He's had a hip replacement last Easter
He's got the tinniness in his ear
He went bankrupt last week and his wife's left him too
       I said "You're looking sick mate,
You're looking queer: what'ya gonna do?” He said

“We don't know how lucky we are mate,
       We don't know how lucky we are!”

Yep we don't know how lucky we are to be alive in this country
       living by by the plug hole of the world, you know
“We don't know how lucky we are!"

So when everything seems pretty crook
       and you're tempted to stick your head in gas oven
Remember, New Zealand's a cracker
       since we stopped all the tourists coming in
And if things get appallingly bad and
       we can no longer manage to live our dream
We can just shut down the country forever
        and kill off the COVID-19

“We don't know how lucky we are mate,
       We don't know how lucky we are!”

We don't know how propitious are our circumstances.
       We don't know how lucky we are. Get it right
We have no idea of the luck we possess, collectively
       We just don't know how lucky we all are. Full stop.


John Clarke's 1990s United Nations version


At the dawn of the day, in the great Southern Ocean
        Where the world's greatest fish was being landed
And the boat they were pulling it into was sinking
        And the sea was quite lumpy, and the weather was foul
And the bloke with the map was as pissed as an owl
        And the boys called out "Maui, ya clown, let it go"
In the noise he reached down for his grandmother's jawbone
         and he winked at his mates and he said
"Boys, we don't know how lucky we are"
        "I have a feeling I have stumbled on something substantial."

We don't know how lucky we are
We don't know how lucky we are
We don't know how lucky we are
We don't know how lucky we are

I was speaking to a mate of mine,
        just the other day
A bloke called Bruce Bayliss,
        who lives up our way
He's been round the world on an 8th army do
        for a year, more or less
I said "Describe the global position, Bruce"
        He said "Fred, it's a mess.
We don't know how lucky we are in this country.
        We don't know how lucky we are
        To live in this joint mate"

We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
We don't know how lucky we are,

There's a guy I know who lives in town
        I see him about once a year I suppose
He's had a coronary since Easter
        He's got a haemorrhage in his ear
He went bankrupt a couple of weeks back
        And now his wife's left him too
I said "You're looking hot mate,
        You're looking clear, what are ya gonna do?"
He said "We don't know how lucky we are
        To live in this joint mate"


We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
We don't know how lucky we are,

So when things are looking really bad
        And you're thinking of giving it a way
Remember, New Zealand's a cracker
        And I reckon come what may
If things get appallingly bad
        And we're all under constant attack
Remember, we want to see good clean ball
        And for God's sakes, feed your backs
We don't how fortunate we are to have this place
        We don't know how propitious are the circumstances.

We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
We don't know how lucky we are,

We don't know how lucky we are, get it right
        We just don't realise how fortunate we are
We have no idea, the luck, we possess, collectively
        We just don't know how lucky we all are. Full stop.

Source, Fred Dagg (Anthology) CD 2000


John Clarke's original 1970's song







E
I was speaking to a
A
mate of mine just the other day
E
A guy called Bruce Bayliss actually who
A
lives up our way
Fm F E
He's been living in
A
Europe for the year, more or less
Fm
I said "How was Europe, Bruce?"
B7
He says "Fred, it's a mess"


        We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
        We don't know how lucky we are,

I was down the Plough and Chequebook,
        the night before last
There's a guy down there on the floor
        with his brain at half-mast
I said "You're looking really bad mate
        your eyes look like strings"
He says "Get me an eight will you please
        I can't see a thing"

        We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
        We don't know how lucky we are,
 


Me stock agent's got a beach place
        where he spends most of his days
His wife bit the dust down there last year
        got eaten by a couple of crays
And his two littlest daughters
        got killed by a whale
I said "Are you going down there this year mate?"
        He says "Fred, right on the nail"

"We don't know how fortunate we are to have that place
We don't know how propitious are the circumstances Frederick"

So if things are looking really bad
        you're thinking of givin' it away
Remember New Zealand's a cracker
        and I reckon come what may
If things get appallingly bad
        and we all get atrociously poor
If we stand in the queue with our hats on
        we can borrow a few million more.

        We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
        We don't know how lucky we are.

        We don't know how lucky we are,      mate
        We don't know how lucky we are.


Source, "Fred Dagg Live"(LP),
performed at the Christchurch town hall, about 1975
.

And an extra verse

Me father-in-law's been feeling pretty pleased with himself:
    He's been living in Greece for the good of his health.
I said, "How was the climate? And how was your year?"
    He says, "The climate's too hot, you can't get a beer,
The sheilas look like blokes, and of course the blokes are all queer,
    The Turks and the Arabs, well, they live far too near,
and if you want a really good time, you might as well live here."

We don't know how lucky we aremate
We don't know how lucky we are.

Collected by Neil & Sandra Copeland.


John Clarke

Fred Dagg is the enduring name of a comic character created in NZ by the Palmerston North-born (b.1948, d.2017) entertainer John Morrison Clarke who has established himself as a top scriptwriter and comedian in Australia since he went there to live in the late 1970s.

Clarke first appeared in the Victoria University revue of 1969 and followed with a revue at Downstage Theatre in Wellington before working briefly in London in the early 1970s.

He first appeared on television in a satirical sequence on a current affairs programme, Gallery, in 1973. Over the following five years, Fred Dagg - a farmer-figure in black working singlet, tattered shorts and gumboots - became the best-known character in NZ comedy. He appeared regularly on television, toured the country with a stage show, appeared in a movie, Dagg Day Afternoon, and made records, including Fred Dagg's Greatest Hits (1975).

Clarke's prolific talent was also used on radio, a medium on which he was particularly successful when he first moved to Australia. Then, he has discarded the Fred Dagg image and became a leading script writer for film and television as well as a television performer.  Fred Dagg Discography.

  Home

Published on web 1999, updated March 2006, Dec 2021