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EXPRESSLY REFRESHED
The Wellington Express

Barry Linehan c.1955

This is a fairly accurate account of how most of us experienced long-distance 
travel before cheap airfares, and before even cheaper 2nd-hand Jap imports.
Lineham was a comedian in the relaxed fine-dining "Gourmet" restaurant in  
Auckland, and was was mocking how it contrasted with the food and drink    
then served to rail passengers.                                                                  


As gourmets as the French are distinguished,
Their cooking comes straight from their hearts.
The Spanish and Turks
Add to other good works
The talents of culinary hearts.

But New Zealand has standards of eating
No nation can hope to attain.
If you want a real treat,
Make sure that you eat
On a trip on the Wellington train.

Ten minutes for refreshments is the signal for the rush
As the famished hordes exterminate the feeble in the crush

No battlefield is grimmer,
Where battered heroes die
Than the bloody 
Railway battle for a cuppa and a pie.


In a scrum All Blacks would envy, only hardy souls remain

To grab a bun and sandwich is the savour on the train.
And every second on the station the milling hundreds press
For the gourmet street refreshments of the Wellington Express.

Why praise all this cooking from Europe?
No Kiwi can stomach the stuff!
But it's curious wishes
For foreign made dishes:
Our tucker’s substantial enough

So if you want a polony or sandwich
Or coffee that's somehow gone wrong,
you can get them all right
In the hour of the night
As the Limited trundles along.

“Ten minutes for refreshments
” is the signal for the scrum.
You're lucky if you get there with a dislocated thumb
But you press against the counter while sleepy-looking shew
With public service movement serves all customers but you.



You plead to go, and mutter, but you really want to scream
While she pours the tea like Dracula off some place in a dream
And before she takes some notice of your obvious distress,
You hear the guard “All seats please, on the L
imited Express.

But — never never munch your dinner or your lunch
Until you're sure the engine’s started moving
'cause railway food is liable
To turn out unreliable
And it shows little signs of improving.

So if you're a stranger, avoid this one danger.
We’d hate you to spoil your vacation.
The pie can bring grief,
But you can't get relief
While the train’s standing still at the station.


Refreshments on the NIMT

There were dining cars on main trunk expresses from 1909, but these were removed as a wartime measure in 1917 and not reinstated for more than half a century. Railway refreshment rooms suffered from numerous complaints about the quality of their food and drink.  But generally the quality of food and service was as good as, if not better than, that found in most other restaurants or hotels in New Zealand at the time.

By the 1950s and 1960s, with reduced services and faster trains requiring fewer stops. refreshment rooms gradually closed: Marton in 1954, Mercer in 1958 and the iconic Frankton and Taumarunui rooms in 1975, bringing to an end one of New Zealand's most distinctive dining experiences.

In the 1970s, the overnight Silver Star sleeper express provided buffet meals as did the later Silver Fern railcars.

When the Northern Explorer was introduced to the daytime NIMT run in 2012, it included an onboard cafe, and in 2024 gourmet dining was added to this tourist experience.

The 1950s, Dine, Dance ...and Drink?

Today the most common place to see and hear live music is at a pub that doubles as a venue. Alcohol is usually available at all. Things haven’t always been this way: alcohol first arrived here with early European settlers.  The Europeans sang while they drank and their songs were often about drinking itself, and later young women were hired to sing and dance in them.

In 1874 came the first attempt to remove entertainment from drinking establishments, when the local temperance movement then argued that any form of entertainment at a pub was a manipulative inducement towards drinking (and prostitution!). The response came in the form of the nationwide Licensing Act of 1881: pubs were banned from having concerts or theatrical performances, and in 1916 six o’clock closing became part of the New Zealand way of life.

In the hour or so between the end of the working day and closing time, men crowded together to drink as much beer as they could before the ‘supping-up’ time of 15 minutes was announced. While early closing was promoted as a way to ensure men got home to their families at a respectable hour, critics questioned their condition when they arrived. New Zealand’s binge-drinking culture has been blamed on the fact that six o’clock closing taught generations of men to drink as fast as possible.

As the 1950s progressed, dine and dance venues became increasingly upmarket, though the inability to sell wine to complete the experience was something that frustrated the owners. In Auckland, Otto Gruen and Jim Jennings opened a highly influential restaurant, The Gourmet, in Shortland Street, and used to set each table with glasses already filled with ice. If the police came in, they were water glasses; if not, customers simply filled them with whatever they brought with them. It hosted a cabaret show mocking the alcohol laws.



A cabaret against licensing laws held in The Gourmet restaurant. The comedian is Barry Linehan.

Gruen toured this cabaret show throughout the country and funded a run of flyers and cartoons protesting against the laws. The Gourmet was repeatedly fined, but Gruen finally got his way when the law was altered in 1961 to allow wine to be sold with dinner until 10pm. Female staff were now allowed to work in bars. The Gourmet received one of 10 licences that were handed out nationwide in that first year.

Barry Lineham

Born in Romford, Essex, England in Sept 1925, served in the Royal Navy during WW2, and came to NZ in 1949.

He did two tours with the C.A.S. Theatre.

He joined Richard Campion's national theatre movement, the New Zealand Players and toured with them in 1953, their first year:
The Young Elizabeth, Grand Opera House Wellington,  May 1953
Dandy Dick,Wellington, New Zealand, May 1953
Ring Around the Moon, New Zealand tour, May 1953
Ned Kelly, New Zealand tour, 1953



1959 "Linehan at Large,” a New Zealand musical revue in Christchurch which originated as an intimate cabaret revue performed by Barry Linehan, a stage and radio personality at the Gourmet restaurant, Auckland, and which directed its shafts at many aspects of New Zealand ways and politics such as queen carnivals, radio commercials, cinemascope films, modern education, contemporary art, politics, and rock ’n’ roll singers.
 
He was an actor in British TV dramas from 1963 to 1993
 
He died in June 1996 in St John's Wood, Middlesex, England, UK.

Other NZ Train Ballads

You can sing or recite these.
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk Line
The Posthole Song
Okaihau Express
The Fairlie Flier

Minnie Dean
Wreck of the Old 2-2-7
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This web page published March 2025

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